Selling Secrets
by Fairy Dell
Summary: The dragonslayers of Fairy Tail hear a lot more than people think. What do they do with that information? Sell it, of course!
1. The Cake Master

**Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima created Fairy Tail and all the characters. I just play with them.**

* * *

Natsu sold his first secret when he was 12 years old.

It was shortly after Happy was born. The kids of the guild were fighting, as usual. Natsu and Gray were wrestling, Elfman watching nervously and Lisanna trying in vain to push them apart. The two boys ignored her, reaching around her to slap each other and pull hair, landing whatever hits they could.

"Please stop, you two," Lisanna begged. "You shouldn't be fighting. You're guildmates, friends!"

"I ain't friends with that fire freak!"

"Yeah, why would I get along with that icy bastard?"

Before Lisanna could attempt to reason with them, the doors slammed open. Erza stormed in, muttering darkly to herself.

"That she-devil!" She spared a glance at Natsu and Gray, who quickly sat at a table and began telling jokes, forcing laughter. "She keeps finding ways to make fun of me, but nothing I say gets to her. I would give anything to learn one of her secrets."

Natsu froze. "Do you really mean that, Erza?"

"I would give up strawberry cake for a week if it meant I had the upper hand!"

"Well that's not something I want. If you give me something I want, I'll tell you a secret about Mira," Natsu offered.

Erza grabbed the front of Natsu's shirt, pulling him close. "Name your price."

"Umm…buy me food for the next two days?"

"This had better be worth it, or I'll beat you for the next two days instead," Erza said, eyes narrowed.

Natsu gulped, nodding quickly. "It is, I promise."

"What is it?"

Natsu looked around carefully to see if anyone was listening. Lisanna and Elfman had settled at a different table with their older sister, far enough away that they wouldn't hear. No one else seemed to be paying attention to the three kids at the table in the corner. He leaned in next to Erza's ear.

"Mira likes to cook," he whispered. "And she's really good at it."

Erza's eyes widened. "How do you know?"

"Lisanna told me. Please don't tell Mira I told you. She'd kill me if she found out!"

"Are you really scared of a girl, ash brains? Geez, you're a bigger wimp than I thought."

"What's that supposed to mean, Gray?" Erza's face darkened and Gray backed away. In an instant, she turned to Natsu and smiled, her anger gone. "I will buy you enough food for three days for that information. If you find out anything else about her, I will buy you more. Do we have a deal?"

"Sure." Natsu wasn't sure if it was the promise of free food or the fear of what might happen if he refused her, but he happily agreed.

Erza stood abruptly. "Ha!" she said loudly, getting the guild's attention. "I can't believe Mira's such a girly-girl!"

"What the hell are you talking about, you sword-wielding freak of nature?" Mira snarled.

" _You_ like to _cook_!" Erza's words were punctuated by sharp pokes.

"What?" Mira shrieked. "Who told you that?" She whirled, glaring at her brother. "Was it you?"

Elfman shook his head, unable to form words in the face of his sister's wrath.

"I bet you suck at cooking," Erza jeered. "Just like you suck at everything else."

"I am a fantastic cook!" Mira yelled, poking Erza back. "I could anything cook better than you any day."

"I accept your challenge!" Erza thundered. "Whoever bakes the better strawberry cake shall be declared the victor. Natsu, Lisanna, and Master will judge."

No one dared argue with her.

In the blink of an eye, the two ran to the kitchen and began throwing around insults, utensils, and ingredients. The guild watched on in awe and horror as the two blazed around the kitchen in a life or death contest of dessert-making. An hour later, everyone gathered around the table where Natsu, Lisanna, and Master sat waiting to taste the cakes.

Mira brought out her creation first, a beautiful and fluffy cake topped with whipped cream and strawberries. Everyone gasped, shocked that the girl with demon magic and a temper shorter than Makarov could make something so delicate. She carefully sliced it and handed out the pieces with a scowl. She crossed her arms and waited to hear the responses.

"This is delicious, big sis!" Lisanna said with a smile. "Even better than the last one you made."

"You should make this more often," Natsu said through a mouthful of sugar, eyes bright with happiness.

"Very good, my dear," Makarov praised. "You continue to surprise me with your many talents."

A small smile broke through on Mira's, but was quickly smothered. The kitchen door opened, releasing a cloud of black smoke. Erza walked out, coughing and carrying what looked like a brick that had been crushed, burned, stuck together with glue, and burned again. The only part of her cake that looked edible were the strawberries on top, but as everyone watched, even those started smoking.

Natsu's eyes widened. "There's no way I'm eating that."

Lisanna simply shrank away, shaking her head.

"Erza, my child, what did you put in that cake?" Makarov asked.

"Strawberries and sugar. And frosting. What else goes in a cake?"

She set the cake on the table confidently, faltering at the sight of Mira's perfect confection. She froze, her eyes sparkling and drool leaking out the side of her mouth.

"That," she whispered, "is the most beautiful cake I have ever seen in my life."

"Are you ready to admit defeat?" Mira asked with a victorious gleam in her eye.

"I will gladly concede on one condition," Erza said, eyes locked on the cake. "You must promise to make me a cake every day for as long as we are both a part of this guild."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "You've got yourself a deal, Red, but I've got a condition of my own. You have to get on this table and shout 'Mira has bested me, Erza Scarlet, in baking.' And every time I bring you cake, you must say 'Thank you, O cake master.' Otherwise you can get your cake somewhere else."

When Erza nodded, her face solemn, everyone fell over in shock. They were sure the girls' agreement would never last. But the next day, the two had a civil interaction over the cake. And they continued, day after day, week after week, month after month. Eventually their conversations extended beyond the simple "Thank you".

But Erza never stopped calling Mira "cake master".

* * *

 **Hey everybody!**

 **Welcome to Selling Secrets, a series of one-shots about the dragonslayers of Fairy Tail, who hear a lot more than people think. So of course, the only thing to do with the information they find is to sell it.**

 **I have a few ideas, but I would love even more! Feel free to suggest secrets in the comments, or on my Tumblr, .com.**

 **As always, special thanks to star-eye for beta-reading and reassuring me that I'm as funny as I think I am. Almost.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**


	2. Bad for Business

Soon after Natsu sold Erza the secret of Mira's culinary prowess, other guild members approached him offering various forms of compensation for intel about their peers. About a month later, Makarov called Natsu into his office to talk to him about his growing business.

"I hear you're selling information about some guild members, Natsu," Makarov said, a serious look on his face.

Natsu paled. "I-I, um, I can explain," he stammered weakly. "You see, I-"

"You aren't in trouble, Natsu. I just wanted to set some ground rules for you, to make sure you didn't take this too far."

Natsu nodded.

"First of all, you have to promise not to sell any information to people outside the guild. We can't risk information, however harmless it may seem, getting to our enemies."

"That's not a problem."

"Second, you cannot sell any harmful secrets. Light-hearted gossip, overheard conversations, yes, but nothing that would truly upset or hurt one of your guildmates. In fact, I'd urge you not to seek out information. Let people approach you and ask you find things out. Unless you just happen to overhear some particularly interesting news."

"I understand."

"Finally," Makarov continued, eyes twinkling, "you must always bring me the juiciest pieces of gossip."

"You got it, Gramps!" Natsu winked and returned to the main hall. Within a month, he had more requests than he could keep up with and enough pocket money to build a small house on the outskirts of town for himself and Happy.

Everyone, Natsu included, thought Juvia would be his highest-paying and most frequent customer after she joined the guild. They were right, but she was far from being his best customer. Despite being an accomplished stalker, Juvia approached Natsu as soon as she heard about his services.

"I have been told that you sell information about people." Juvia appeared out of nowhere, startling Natsu into dropping the chicken leg he had been devouring. She slapped his back as he choked on the bite he had just taken.

"I've been known to, yes. For a price," he said hoarsely.

"I will pay whatever you ask for everything you know about my beloved Gray." The maniacal gleam in her eye made Natsu shrink away from the rain woman.

"Well," he hedged, "usually the payment equals the quantity of information and the difficulty of obtaining it. You'll have to be more specific."

"I want to know everything about Gray. His likes, his dislikes, stories from his childhood, anything, everything! I'll pay any price."

Natsu thought for a moment then his eyes brightened as he got an idea. "You were the one who made that lunch box for Gray when we were rebuilding the guild, right?"

Juvia nodded sadly at the memory. Natsu had stolen the lunch she worked so hard to make for her beloved. But she was willing to forgive him if it meant she could learn more about the object of her obsession...er, love.

"Telll ya what. You bring me one of those lunches every day and while I eat it, I'll talk about freezer burn. The more food you make, the longer I'll talk. But only while I'm eating. As soon as I'm finished, we're done for the day. Deal?"

Juvia clasped her hands and nodded eagerly. "Deal. I shall bring you the best boxed lunch you have ever seen tomorrow." Her gaze darkened and a dark aura surrounded her. "Your information had better be worth it. Or you will never eat again."

"It will be," Natsu whispered. He turned to Lucy as soon as Juvia disappeared. "What have I done?"

Lucy, sitting at the next table over with Levy, started laughing. When she offered no advice, Natsu pouted and left, Happy fluttering worriedly behind him.

"How long do you think that arrangement will last?" Lucy wiped a tear from her eye as she finally got her laughter under control.

"Less than a week," Levy said. "Juvia's going to be disappointed when Natsu only talks about how much he hates Gray, his table manners will scare her off, or she'll start to worry that Gray will think she's in love with Natsu because she's spending so much time with him."

"I agree," Lucy said, "but Natsu's going to back out first. There's no way he's going to put up with talking about Gray so much. Plus, Juvia freaks him out. He's going to get sick of the deal."

"Are you willing to bet on that?" Levy asked, a calculating look on her face.

"I am." The two girls shook on it and prepared to watch the debacle unfold.

As it turned out, neither was quite right.

Four days later, Lucy was partially proven right as Natsu tried to back out of his deal with Juvia. She wouldn't let him, however, and the guild was treated to the sight of the water mage chasing the dragonslayer around, forcing food down his throat and demanding yet another story about her darling Gray. It finally ended when Makarov pulled the two apart, Natsu's face green and Juvia wailing about 'bath time' and 'more information' and 'it's never enough'.

"You want to know more about Gray?" Natsu shouted at the crazed girl. "Ask him yourself!"

All eyes turned to the half-naked ice mage, who glanced around and slowly began making his way toward the door.

"Enough of this nonsense," Erza said. "I would be happy to tell you about Gray, Juvia."

Juvia eyed her new love rival. "No thank you," she muttered. "I'm sure you're only going to tell me his supposed bad qualities to try to scare me off so you can have him for yourself. I will find out what I need to know on my own."

Natsu sighed in relief, his brief stint as Juvia's informant over. He would never make that mistake again.

* * *

 **There you have it, chapter two! I wondered what would happen if stalker met informant and this was the result.**

 **Special thanks, as always, to star-eye for beta reading and helping me figure out an ending to this one.**

 **I'd love recommendations for more secrets Natsu and the dragonslayers could sell, so leave them in the comments or over on my tumblr, fairy-dell. You guys are seriously the best!**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	3. Catching Up

**Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima created Fairy Tail and its characters. I just play with them.**

 **This chapter was suggested by LordTicky. Hope I did it justice!**

* * *

Natsu never expected to see Lisanna again. After she returned with them from Edolas, he was overjoyed, as was the rest of the guild.

Lisanna spent her first days back with her family. Mira and Elfman rarely let her out of their sight. But after a week, she managed to find time for her childhood best friends.

"Hey you two, how's it going?" Lisanna pulled Natsu and Happy into a tight hug as she sat at their table.

"We're bored," Happy whined. "Lucy doesn't wanna go on a job with us and Natsu won't take me fishing."

"Well I know what you can do this afternoon." Lisanna winked at the small blue cat.

"What's that?" Natsu asked, his interest captured.

"Do you still sell information, Natsu? I've got two years to catch up on."

Natsu smiled. "Sure thing! And for you, just this once, there's no charge. Anything specific you want to know about?"

Lisanna hesitated. "When did Mira and Elfman get so different? I'd ask them myself, but I don't want to bring up bad memories for them again."

"Your disappearance was hard on everyone, but especially on your siblings." Natsu's face was serious, a rare sight when he wasn't facing an enemy. "Mira . . . she wanted to become more like you, I guess. Partly to honor your memory, but I think she was also just tired of fighting. I don't know if she told you, but she stopped using her Take-Over magic. Actually, she couldn't use it. She only recently got it back. Master hired her to run the bar so that she could still be a member without doing jobs. Mira's still one of the scariest people in the guild, though."

Lisanna smiled, but it was forced. "And Elfman?"

"He felt guilty, like he had failed you. He was determined to become strong enough to protect Mira and the guild. A real man would be able to do that."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Lisanna considered the information. "What else did I miss?" she asked softly.

Natsu began telling Lisanna all about what she had missed. He told her about the jobs he and Happy had taken, the many rumors of Igneel they had chased, and all the fights he won against Gray (though he may have exaggerated that).

Then Natsu got to the point where he met Lucy. His eyes lit up as he told Lisanna about the day they met and how he brought her to Fairy Tail. His stories grew more detailed, but the details all seemed to focus on his blonde partner. Lisanna listened with rapt attention to Natsu, shocked at all that her friends had been through.

"I can't believe you've done all that," she whispered as he finished.

"Yeah, sometimes I don't believe it either," Natsu said with a crooked smile. "But I wouldn't have it any other way!"

"So tell me, Natsu." Lisanna leaned forward, a twinkle in her eye. "Are you in love with Lucy?"

Natsu turned bright red, trying to stutter a response, while Happy snickered.

"He does!" Happy crowed. "He loves her!"

"Shut up!" Natsu glared at his two friends, still red-faced. He jumped as Lucy slid into the seat next to him.

"Hey guys! What are you talking about?"

"Nothing!" Natsu shouted.

Lucy eyed him. "Are you okay? You looked flushed. Are you getting sick or something?"

"I'm fine, okay? Geez, you're so nosy Luce."

"Natsu was helping me catch up on all the things I missed while I was gone," Lisanna said, taking pity on the dragonslayer. "It sounds like I missed out on some pretty great adventures."

Lucy groaned. "You are more than welcome to take my place next time. I need a break from all the excitement."

"No thanks," Lisanna said with a laugh. "I learned a long time ago that hanging out with Natsu will only get you into trouble. It's fun, of course, but exhausting."

"Why are you guys being so mean to me?" Natsu asked pathetically.

"Aw, you know we don't mean it," Lucy said, ruffling his hair affectionately. Happy and Lisanna exchanged a look before staring at Natsu with knowing smiles.

Just as the two opened their mouths to start teasing, Natsu pushed his chair away from the table. He glared at Lisanna and Happy. "I have to go." He stalked out of the guild hall, trying and failing to suppress the blush that was staining his cheeks.

Lucy looked worried. "Was it something I said?"

"No, we were teasing him," Lisanna reassured her.

"I should go apologize," Happy said. "If I don't, Natsu won't get me fish!" Happy flew off and Lisanna watched with a wistful smile.

"I missed everyone here so much," she whispered. She shook her head, smiling brightly at Lucy. "It's so strange. I know a lot about Lucy Ashley, but I don't know anything about you. Natsu didn't say much about your past. What did you do before you came to Fairy Tail?"

Lucy and Lisanna spent the rest of the day getting to know each other, pleasantly surprised to find how much they had in common. Eventually, they had to part ways.

"I really enjoyed talking to you, Lucy," Lisanna said as she hugged her new friend. "Maybe next time we can exchange stories about Natsu. I've got lots of embarrassing ones!"

"Sounds good!" Lucy winked. "I could always use new things to tease him about."

"It might cost you though. I don't want to start a whole business like Natsu, but I don't part with my secrets for free," Lisanna said.

"What's your price?" Lucy asked.

"You have to tell me the truth about how you feel about Natsu."

Lucy smiled. "He's my best friend."

"And is that it?" Lisanna hinted heavily.

"What else would we be?" Lucy frowned.

"Nothing, I guess." Lisanna let the topic go, but the gears in her brain were beginning to turn. "Since you answered my question, what do you want to know about Natsu?"

"Hmmm…." Lucy paused. "Can I think about it and let you know? It's gotta be something good."

"Sure thing," Lisanna said with a laugh. "I'm happy to chat with you anytime. In fact, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Agreed." Lucy smiled. "Well, I'd better go make sure Natsu isn't off sulking somewhere. Or worse, in the middle of a fight."

Lisanna laughed. "Yeah, I don't envy you your partnership. He's a handful. I'll see you around, Lucy."

The two parted ways and Lisanna wandered over to the bar, where her sister had spent the afternoon keeping an eye on her from a distance.

"Mira," Lisanna said seriously, "we have a lot of work to do if we're going to get those two together."

Mira smiled, and everyone who saw it shivered. "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

 **Hey you guys!**

 **As always, I have to thank my beta, star-eye, for helping me figure out what I'm writing. Sometimes things happen and I have no control.**

 **I have ideas for a few chapters, but I'd love to hear your suggestions either in the comments or on my tumblr, fairy-dell.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	4. A High Price

**Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima created Fairy Tail and its characters. I only play with them.**

 **These stories won't always go in chronological order, but so far they have been. This one takes place shortly after Edolas.**

* * *

"I hate you."

"The feeling's mutual. But I am having too much fun to let you out of this."

Natsu and Gray stood in front of the guild hall. Gray was fidgeting and Natsu was falling over with laughter.

"You know, maybe now isn't a good time-" Gray hedged.

"You aren't stalling, are ya? Cause I held up my end of the deal. You agreed to the price."

"I changed my mind. I thought I could handle you telling me what to do for a day, but I thought you'd make me lose a fight against you or be your errand boy or something stupid like that. This is just humiliating!"

"I know, it's great!" Natsu chuckled. "Normally I'd keep it to stuff like that, but you asked me to eavesdrop on Erza. I was risking my neck, so you'd better believe I'm getting as much out of this as I possibly can. Now get in there."

Before Gray could protest, Natsu threw open the doors and shoved him inside. Everyone paused to see who had caused the commotion and silence fell as they stared at Gray in shock.

"Gray," Wendy whispered, eyes wide, "why are you dressed like Edolas Gray?"

Natsu started laughing and Gray clenched his jaw. "I do as Lord Dragneel commands me," he spat out.

After another few moments of shocked silence, the entire guild burst into laughter.

"I don't understand," Wendy told Lucy.

Lucy smiled pityingly at the overdressed ice mage. "If I had to guess, I'd say Gray bought some information from Natsu and this is the price he had to pay. I hope for his sake it was worth it.

"It was," Gray said miserably. If he hadn't asked Natsu for help, he wouldn't know why Erza was angry at him.

"Are you feeling alright?" Mira asked Gray, concerned. "You're sweating."

"I'm just warm." Gray tugged at one of the four scarves around his neck. "I feel like I can't breathe," he muttered.

"Why don't you take off a few layers," Cana suggested. "It's weird seeing you with so many clothes on. Quit hiding those abs. I miss my eye candy."

Gray blushed. Off in a corner, Juvia pouted, jealously watching her beloved flirt with another woman.

"I can't take anything off unless Natsu-" the dragonslayer coughed loudly, "I mean, Lord Dragneel, tells me to."

Cana howled with laughter. "Natsu, you are a genius. Let me buy you a drink."

As Natsu sipped his drink at the bar, Erza came in for her daily piece of cake. She smiled as she watched a miserable Gray wilting from the heat of wearing so many clothes. He was currently running errands for Lucy, per Natsu's orders. Unfortunately for him, Lucy wanted to go clothes shopping. She pulled on his arm, dragging him out the door.

"I see you took my advice," Erza said. She took a bite of her cake and sighed. "He doesn't know you spoke to me?"

"No. The only reason he's letting me do this to him is because he thinks I spied on you." Natsu snorted. "As if I'd risk that."

Erza smiled. "I'm glad you know better, Natsu. And seeing him like this has more than made up for any rude comments he made while we were in Edolas. Make sure you let him know I'm not angry with him any longer."

"I will. As soon as I've had my fun."

* * *

 **Hey you guys!**

 **A shorter story this time, but I couldn't help but wonder how Natsu would charge Gray if Gray wanted information. Obviously he'd use the opportunity to his advantage.**

 **Special thanks, as always, go to star-eye for beta reading and laughing with me. Cana speaks for both of us when it comes to Gray. Those abs.**

 **Feel free to leave suggestions for secrets in the comments or over on my tumblr, fairy-dell.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	5. Expanding Business

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. And that's probably a good thing.**

* * *

"Natsu, I've got a job for you," Cana said as she sat next to the fire dragonslayer.

"If it's finding out where Mira keeps the key to the kitchen so you can raid it for booze, don't bother asking. I've already been threatened to keep my mouth shut."

Cana scowled. "That's not what I want. Well, it is, but not today. I want to do something nice for Juvia, but I don't know what sort of thing she likes."

Natsu nodded thoughtfully. "I'm assuming you want this to be a surprise, which is why you can't find out yourself?"

"Yeah. After all she went through with Fantasia, I want to show her that she has friends here, that we care. But she's so quiet. All I know about her is that she uses water magic and is in love with Gray. And as much as I'd like to wrap him up in only a bow and give him to her, I don't see him agreeing to that plan. So can you you do your thing and find out something I can do for her?"

Natsu scratched his head. "Well, I can try, but she doesn't talk to many people. And I haven't heard anything personal." He snapped his fingers. "Hey, I've got it!"

Cana watched as Natsu stood, looking around the guild. "Hey Lightning Rod!" he called.

Gajeel stomped over, grabbing Natsu by the front of his shirt. "I told you not to call me that, twerp."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Cana has a question for ya."

Gajeel turned his red eyes toward Cana. "What."

"I wanna do something nice for Juvia, but I have no idea what she likes. She's your friend. What should I do?"

Gajeel grumbled for a few moments about 'stupid drunks' and 'the hell should I know' before narrowing his eyes at the two. "What do you wanna know for?"

"I just want to show her that she has friends here, that we trust her and care about her," Cana said. "Anything you can think of would help."

"You don't breathe a word of this to anyone, you got me?"

Cana and Natsu nodded.

"She's always wanted girl friends to do stupid stuff with."

"Like what?" Cana was getting impatient. Getting answers from Gajeel was starting to feel like pulling teeth. She was not drunk enough to deal with his attitude.

"I dunno. She's always trying to get me to go have tea with her. Like I'd ever do girly shit like have a tea party."

"Perfect!" Cana yelled. The two dragonslayers jumped. "What's your price?"

"Huh?"

Natsu's eyes lit up. "Hey, that's a great idea! Gajeel, you've heard about my little side business, haven't you?"

"Yeah…?"

"You want in? It'd make it easier on me, having someone to split the work with. People ask you for information, you charge for it. I usually ask for food. So long as the information isn't damaging, Gramps doesn't care."

"I could use some free meals and scrap iron." Gajeel shrugged. "Sure, why not. As long as it ain't stupid stuff."

"So, what do I owe ya?" Cana asked impatiently.

"Uh, a plate of scrap metal. I didn't have to do anything but listen to Juvia ramble, which I can't stop anyway."

"Sure, I'll have Mira bring it over. Thanks!" With that, Cana ran off to ask Juvia out for tea. The water mage gladly accepted.

To everyone's shock, Cana enjoyed herself. As far as they could tell, she didn't sneak in any sort of alcohol. In fact, the two had such a good time that they began having tea together whenever they were both in town.

Gajeel was just happy that Juvia had someone else to talk to. Not because he cared or anything stupid like that, but because it kept her from pestering him.

* * *

 **Just a quick chapter to pull Gajeel into this madness. I have things in store for him. *evil laughter***

 **Special thanks to star-eye for beta-reading at the drop of a hat and agreeing with me (and Cana) that Gray wrapped up in a bow would never be a bad thing. Can you say fanservice?**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	6. The Crush: Part 1

**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is not mine.**

 **Timeline wise I picture this taking place shortly after the whole Daphne/dragonoid fiasco.**

* * *

Gajeel was enjoying a quiet lunch when Jet and Droy approached him.

"What do ya want?" he asked warily as they sat down.

"We've got a job for you," Droy said. His voice was low, his eyes darting around, looking for something. Or maybe someone.

"What is it?"

The two members of Shadowgear exchanged a look, scowling.

"Levy's been talking about some guy named Henry," Jet said darkly. "We need to know who he is and if we need to have a chat with him."

"If he thinks he's good enough for Levy, he'd better think again," Droy said, cracking his knuckles.

Gajeel smiled. "What're ya payin'?"

"That's up to you. This is important, so you can ask for pretty much anything."

Gajeel scratched his head, feigning nonchalance, but he couldn't hide the wicked gleam in his eye. "My place could use cleaning."

To his surprise, the two mages nodded without hesitation.

"You can't let her know you're looking into this. She'd kill us all," Jet said with a shudder.

"Sure, whatever. I'll see what I can find out."

Jet and Droy visibly relaxed. Gajeel glared at them as they continued to sit at his table.

"What're you still doing here? You wanna make her suspicious?"

He didn't bother to stifle his laughter as they scurried away. Like Levy was paying attention to what they were doing or would figure out their plans if she was. Then again, Gajeel mused, she was a smart one. If anyone would figure out what they were up to, it'd be her.

He'd have to be careful.

During the lunch rush, Gajeel managed to switch from his normal isolated table to one closer to Levy's, using the crowd and the closer location to the bar as an excuse. A small smile slid over his face as he realized that for once, Levy didn't have her nose buried in a book. Instead, she was talking to Lucy and Gajeel knew that if Levy would talk to anyone about some guy, it would be her best female friend. He settled down with a plate of iron and a mug of beer, seeming for all appearances blind and deaf to the chaos around him. In reality, all his senses were focused on the two girls a few tables over.

"He's seriously perfect, Lu, I can't imagine anyone better. I mean, he's loyal, protective, kind, and gentle."

"Wow, Levy, he sounds too good to be true."

"But he's not! I mean, yeah, he's pretty much the perfect guy, but he's human too, you know? He realizes he has flaws and works around them as best he can."

"Is he handsome?"

"So handsome! He's kind of small and not super muscular, but he's still strong. He's got the most gorgeous blond hair and piercing blue eyes. And his manners! Lu, he's impeccably polite, but not in a stiff or awkward way. He's kind to everyone he meets. Not to mention he's intelligent. He can speak five different languages!" Levy's eyes sparkled.

Gajeel snorted into his drink. The guy sounded like a total pansy to him.

"Tell me what he said at the end of the date," Lucy demanded, dreamy-eyed.

Gajeel grit his teeth. Levy had gone on a date? This was more serious than he thought.

Not that he cared.

"He said, 'I'm sure I had a wonderful time tonight, but I can't recall a single thing we did. I was far too distracted by your beauty and charm.' Isn't that just the sweetest?"

Lucy squealed.

"And then," Levy said, eyes glazed over happily, "he said the kiss was the sweetest dessert he could ask for."

The two girls sighed in unison.

The mug in Gajeel's hand cracked as his grip tightened. There was no way Levy could date some lame-ass guy like that. He sounded like a male version of Levy. She could pull off all that nice and smart crap because she was cute, but she shouldn't date someone just like her.

She should be with a strong guy who could protect her, Gajeel decided. Someone who could mercilessly beat any threats into a pulp. Someone who could make her big. Someone with dark hair and red eyes. Someone like━

He stopped that thought short and violently wrestled it back into the little box in the back of his mind where he kept all sorts of denials.

Not that he had anything to deny. No sir.

Turning back to the conversation, Gajeel was delighted to see Mira walk up to their table. She had a nose like a dragon when it came to romance. She'd pull answers out of Levy in a heartbeat. Gajeel would just have to report what he overheard and collect his payment.

Except Mira just smiled knowingly at the two, winked, and walked away.

There went that plan.

For the rest of the day, Gajeel was forced to listen to the two girls talk about books, jobs, books, the Henry guy, and more books. He couldn't believe how much the two of them read. It was terrifying, really.

When Jet and Droy showed up around dinner for an update, Gajeel was fed up with his lack of progress, and though he'd never admit it, was quite jealous of Henry. The way Levy talked about him, he could tell she really cared. His clients could tell he was frustrated with his lack of progress and wisely left him alone.

Eventually, Levy could no longer contain the yawns that shook her small frame and she bade her friend goodnight.

"Going to spend some quality time with Henry?" Lucy asked, waggling her eyebrows. To Gajeel's utter shock, Levy turned bright red.

"Maybe."

Lucy laughed and waved as the girl left. Gajeel quietly followed, careful not to draw attention to himself. Once they were a good distance from the guild, Levy slowed. She pulled a book out of her back and ran her hands lovingly along the cover, sighing.

"Did Henry give you that?" Gajeel asked from the shadows behind her. He smiled a little sheepishly when she screamed, clutching her heart.

"What are you doing, sneaking around in the shadows like that? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Look, I was trying to be subtle but we both know that's not my thing. Who's Henry?"

Levy's mouth flopped open as she stared at the visibly bristling dragonslayer.

"I...he...why?" she stuttered.

Gajeel's eyes narrowed. "I just don't think having a secret boyfriend is a good idea. It ruins trust. And if you can't trust your friends, then what does that say about the guy you're seeing?"

"I don't have a secret boyfriend!"

"Then who the hell is Henry?"

"A character in the book I'm reading!"

Gajeel drew back like he had been slapped, blinking rapidly.

"A character?" he asked faintly.

"Yes."

"In a book?"

"Yup."

"Not your boyfriend?"

Levy snorted. "Not even close. He's a great character and all, but not exactly my type."

Part of Gajeel wanted to ask what her type was, and if it included large brooding dragonslayers, but that part was promptly shoved into the denial box.

"What's gotten into you, Gajeel? It's not like you to be interested in anyone's love life."

Gajeel gathered what little dignity he had left and hid behind her two best friends. "Jet and Droy heard you talking about him and asked me to look into it. I joined Natsu's business, you know."

Levy frowned. "That's strange. I told them all about this book. They should have known Henry was a character. I guess they just weren't paying attention."

Gajeel, on the other hand, began to wonder if they had some other sort of mischief in mind. Deciding that they probably had, he vowed to mercilessly and violently beat them into a pulp next time he saw them.

"Well, I guess I won't charge them if it was just a misunderstanding," Gajeel said reluctantly. When Levy smiled, the voice in his denial box whispered that it was worth it, just for that grin.

The two stood in silence for a moment, unsure what to do next.

"Walk me home?" Levy finally asked.

"Sure, whatever. I was heading that way anyway," Gajeel tried to play off his excitement.

Levy giggled. "You were heading toward the girls' dormitory? Got a secret to share?"

Gajeel flushed and looked away. So much for acting cool. "So what's the book about? Besides some pansy named Henry," he asked, knowing it was the best way to distract her.

Gajeel couldn't have said after what the book was about, but he could have talked about the way Levy's eyes lit up or how she'd get so excited she tripped over her words, which was adorable. Not that he'd ever say mushy crap like that. He just noticed, okay?

The walk to his apartment after dropping Levy off was strangely quiet. Not that it was usually loud, but the quiet seemed more prominent after listening to Levy chatter on.

Gajeel scowled as he reflected on how he got into the situation in the first place. Those two idiots would pay. Maybe another night up a tree would teach them better than to make him look stupid, he thought with a bloodthirsty grin.

He froze on his doorstep. His rooms were spotless. Gajeel shook his head as he slowly walked around, inspecting his apartment. Everything was organized and cleaned, even the scrap metal he collected for snacks. And his kitchen was full. He hadn't left it that way.

Maybe those two lapdogs weren't so bad after all.

A piece of paper on his otherwise empty table caught his attention. There was no explanation or signature, only two words.

 _You're welcome._

* * *

 **Poor Gajeel. His denial box is getting too crowded. Star-eye says he needs a bigger one. I say he should chuck the thing.**

 **My wonderful beta, star-eye, and I often have conversations about characters that others overhear and think we're talking about real people.**

 **And yes, this is part one because Jet and Droy fully intend to do this again. The trolls.**

 **In other news, I have just accepted a new job and will be moving to a new state in the next few weeks. So updates will be scarce and sporadic. Or rather, more scarce and sporadic.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	7. The Art of Manipulation

**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is not mine. If it was, nothing would ever get done.**

* * *

There were certain people Natsu didn't do business with. Juvia, for one, after failing to sate her thirst for knowledge about all things Gray. Gray himself refused to ask Natsu for information, as the price was usually too high or embarrassing. Warren, being telepathic, didn't often need assistance.

And then there was Mira.

Natsu's policy was to never accept a job from Mira, unless there was another person requesting the information with her. He just didn't have the time or desire to chase after whatever pair she thought would be cute together on a given day.

So he was surprised when Mira approached him with a job. He was about to apologize and refuse when Lisanna and Bickslow sat down as well.

"Any luck?" Mira asked them. They shook their heads.

"Natsu, we want to hire you," Lisanna said.

"All three of you?" Natsu asked.

"This is a big deal," Bickslow said, serious for once. "We haven't been able to find the information ourselves."

Natsu paled. What could be so important that even Bickslow looked grim? "What's the job?" he asked hesitantly.

His three customers exchanged a look and Mira leaned forward, the spokeswoman of the group.

"We have reason to believe that Evergreen and Elfman have begun dating since the Tenrou incident," she said, a gleam in her eye. "But we don't have proof. We've never caught them in a compromising position and they always seem to have their stories straight. But I know they're dating! My matchmaker senses are tingling!"

Natsu leaned back, not wanting said matchmaker senses to hone in on him as the next victim. "That's a pretty big job. If Evergreen finds out I'm spying on her she'll turn me into a statue for a week. What'll you pay to make it worth my while?"

"I'll invite Happy over for sleepovers whenever you want some space. Or if you want to take Lucy on a date without interruptions," Lisanna said with a wink.

"What do you mean by that?" Natsu stammered. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Lisanna just rolled her eyes.

"I'll give you 10% of what I earn on our next S-class job," Bickslow said, not a trace of his usual grin on his face.

Natsu's eyes grew wide at the thought of how much food he could get with the extra cash.

"And I'll throw in one day next week when you can eat as much as you want here at the guild, free of charge. If the information is good and you keep giving us more, I'll give you more days. But no more than one a week, otherwise we'll go broke," Mira said.

A bit of drool escaped Natsu's mouth at that. "Deal," he said without a pause.

The three smiled and breathed a collective sigh of relief. They looked around suspiciously and scattered.

Around dinner time, Mira mentioned to him in passing that neither Elfman nor Evergreen had shown up for a meal. Taking the not so subtle hint, Natsu left to see if he could catch the couple in the middle of a date.

It didn't take long to find them. They were at a little cafe surprisingly close to the guild. Natsu watched them from a tree across the street, feeling rather dumb and stalkerish. But he wanted that food and cash. And, well, maybe the idea of having an evening free of Happy's teasing was nice. Not that he was gonna take Lucy out or anything, but if he happened to drop by her apartment, maybe she wouldn't be so angry if Happy wasn't there to set her off.

There didn't appear to be anything romantic about Elfman and Evergreen. They sat in the back corner of the cafe, away from the windows. Natsu was only able to see them because of his position in the tree and enhanced senses. The two hardly looked at each other, much more occupied with periodically scanning their surroundings. They were probably on the lookout for their siblings and teammates.

Too bad they didn't count on a ninja dragonslayer. Natsu chuckled, wrapping his scarf around his head.

Pulling out the camera Mira had shoved at him as he left on his mission, Natsu managed to snap a couple of halfway decent pictures, although the leaves kept getting in the way. Still, there was one shot of the two at the table together, though Evergreen had her arms crossed and Elfman wasn't even looking at her. It wasn't proof of a date, necessarily, but it was proof that they were at least in the same place.

Natsu sped back to the guild and showed the terrifying trio the picture. They, of course, started squealing (in Mira and Lisanna's case) and cackling (in Bickslow's case) and shouting that they knew the two were dating.

"I'm really sorry I couldn't get better pictures, but if I had gotten any closer they would have seen me. They're pretty paranoid. But I'll keep trying, don't worry!" Natsu said.

Three weeks later, Natsu burped, pushing back from his seat at the table. "That was great, thanks Mira!"

"I'll bring some more later when you're hungry again. Thanks again for the pictures of them walking by the river," Mira whispered.

"I'm just sorry I didn't get any that they were both in. They weren't walking very close together."

"Oh, don't worry about it Natsu! I know you're trying your best. My brother is just incredibly secretive and suspicious. They'll slip up eventually." Mira waltzed back to the bar, happy with the latest information Natsu had given them, inconclusive though it was.

Natsu just shrugged. If they were content with blurry pictures and implications, he was happy to supply them.

The next day found him following the suspect pair yet again. Bored, Natsu decided to see just how close he could get to the two.

Not his best idea.

Within five minutes, he found himself two feet off the ground and restrained by two massive arms, staring at the gleam on Evergreen's glasses.

"It's not manly to sneak around and follow your friends," a deep voice said.

"Natsu," Evergreen said in a deceptively calm voice.

Natsu gulped. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Remind me of our arrangement."

"I purposely get bad or incomplete information for Mira, Lisanna, and Bickslow. I do not bother you on your dates. I get 5% of your earnings in return, plus what those three are paying."

"So you do remember." Evergreen toyed with her glasses. "Care to explain why you got so close tonight?"

"I was bored." Natsu flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, praying he wouldn't end up a statue in a garden collecting bird poop.

Evergreen sighed. "I know this isn't fun for you, Natsu. It isn't fun for us either."

"Tell you what," Elfman said. "We'll let you know in advance when we're going on a date, you come and we'll stage some pictures for you right off the bat. Then you can pretend to lose us or something and you're free for the rest of the night."

Natsu nodded. "Sounds good."

Evergreen looked impressed. "That's incredibly insightful, Elfbaby."

Natsu gagged. "Could you please wait until I'm gone to start flirting?"

Elfman dropped him and pulled Evergreen close instead. "Scram."

Natsu wasted no time in his getaway. He didn't want to see them kiss. It was gross.

Besides, if his three clients found out he was holding out on them, he would be dead before he could shove the blame on the two hiding their relationship in the first place.

* * *

 **Oh look, an update!**

 **I firmly believe that Natsu is smarter than people give him credit for. He'd totally play both sides of a situation to get the most out of it. Sneaky Natsu.**

 **Special thanks, as always, to star-eye for beta-reading, brainstorming, and saving me from drowning in commas. I hate commas.**

 **If you have a suggestion for a secret/situation to feature in a chapter, let me know! I'm always looking for more.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	8. Not for Everyone

***slides update in and sneaks out***

 **Disclaimer: I do no own Fairy Tail or its characters. Which is lucky for you, otherwise you wouldn't get regular updates.**

* * *

Natsu's business of selling secrets was highly successful. With the money he earned, he had built a house. He rarely went hungry. Even when Gajeel joined in, he still had a steady side income. So when Wendy joined the guild, he was happy to approach her about joining their venture.

"So, you eavesdrop on other people?" Wendy said dubiously. "And then sell what you hear?"

"Only if someone asks for certain information," Natsu reassured her. "And only as long as the information is harmless. Gramps knows all about it and he's fine with it, as long as we're responsible."

"I'm still not sure." Wendy fidgeted in her seat.

"I should think not!" Carla said indignantly. "Listening in on other people's conversations, selling information? How improper!"

"It's not all bad," Gajeel said. "We help people figure out what to get each other for their birthdays or sh-" He broke off at Carla's glare. "Stuff like that."

"That sounds nice," Wendy said. "See Carla, I'd really be helping people!"

"I suppose I can't stop you, child, if you've got your mind set on it. But don't say I didn't warn you when this all goes wrong!"

And so Wendy joined the business.

Word got around the guild that the youngest dragonslayer was making her debut as an entrepreneur (under the strict condition from Carla that she only help people) and people soon started approaching her with business. However, people soon realized that as well-meaning as she was, Wendy was very bad at eavesdropping.

Her first assignment was from Gildarts, of all people. He wanted to know more about Cana, but she wouldn't sit down and talk to him. So he asked Wendy. She was more than happy to do so, as she looked up to the older mage. Carla was less enthusiastic, especially after Cana offered Wendy a beer.

However, no one had taken into account that Wendy, the sky dragonslayer, frequently ate air.

She didn't even realize she did it, but every so often she would inhale a deeper breath, keeping herself fully powered and ready to go. And the air around the pretty brunette was saturated with alcohol. After an hour or so in Cana's presence, she started to feel different. She was giggly and had trouble keeping her balance. Then her vision got sort of fuzzy.

Cana caught her as she fell off her stool.

"You ok, squirt?" Cana asked, propping her up.

"I feel funny," Wendy slurred before leaning over and throwing up.

Needless to say, the guild was shocked to see that Wendy could get secondhand drunk and Carla was enraged. Gildarts immediately withdrew his request as Carla alternately yelled at him and Cana, who just found the whole thing hilarious.

After downing a few potions to help with her first hangover, Wendy was determined to succeed. She happily traded Natsu jobs and proceeded to find out for Makarov what Laxus wanted for his birthday.

Having learned her lesson the first time, she picked a seat a few tables away from Laxus, Evergreen, Freed, and Bixlow and tried not to appear as though she was listening to them. After listening to Evergreen and Bixlow bicker for an hour, she started getting impatient. She stared more openly at her target, not even noticing when Freed and Evergreen left the table.

She did notice two shadows fall over her as Evergreen and Freed blocked her view, scowling.

Wendy gulped. "Hi," she said softly.

"May we ask what you're doing?" Freed asked tightly.

"A job," she stammered. "Master wants to know what to get Laxus for his birthday."

Evergreen slammed her hands on the table, making Wendy jump. "Perhaps Natsu forgot to inform you," she said darkly, glaring at the fire dragonslayer. "But if you want information about Laxus, you do not spy or eavesdrop on him."

"Then how do I get it?" Wendy asked.

"You may ask us. We know all there is to know about him," Freed said.

Two minutes later, a shaken Wendy handed Makarov a list of possible birthday presents for his grandson. Gajeel punched Natsu for forgetting to give her all the information, starting a guild-wide brawl.

The next day, Wendy tried again. She accepted a job from Loke. The lion spirit wanted to know if he was still eligible to become an S-class wizard, but didn't have time to find out, as the Celestial Spirit King needed his help to restore order after the Eclipse debacle. He offered to bottle some air from the spirit world for her. Wendy was excited to try the air, wondering if it would affect her magic at all. When they visited before, she didn't have a chance to find out.

Wendy decided to use her first approach (minus the secondhand drunkenness) and simply talk to him. She went to his office and the kindly master was more than happy, if a little confused, to spend some time just talking to her. Over the next half hour, he asked how she was adjusting to Fairy Tail, how she was getting along with the other guild members, and if she was making enough money to get by.

Frustrated, Wendy decided to be a little more blunt. "I was wondering about the S-class trials this year."

Makarov looked surprised. "I'm glad you're interested, my dear, but I'm sure it will be a few more years before you're eligible for the trials. You did very well when you were Mest's partner, but S-class jobs are serious business. We don't send wizards on such dangerous jobs until they have more experience. Keep working hard and you'll get there eventually."

"No, that's not what I meant," Wendy protested. "I was just curious about the trials this year."

Makarov frowned. "The trials are a secret for a reason. I know you've joined Natsu's business, but everyone in the guild should know better than to try and get information about the trials beforehand."

Wendy huffed in frustration. "No, that's not it either! I was just trying to find out what makes a person eligible and whether a certain person might be considered." She sighed. "I'm not very good at this, am I?"

He chuckled. "The business of selling secrets isn't for everyone," he said gently, "and that's perfectly fine. It means you prefer to be honest with your friends and don't like to deceive them, even for good reasons. You're not obligated to join Natsu's business."

Wendy nodded. "It was nice to think about helping people, but I don't think I'm cut out for it," she admitted. "I think for now I should just focus on doing regular jobs."

Makarov's eyes twinkled. "Now, which certain person wants to know about the S-class trials?"

"Loke," she said. "He didn't know if being a spirit put him out of the running and he's so busy right now he didn't have the time to come ask you himself."

"Well if that's all," the master said with a laugh, "you can tell him that he's still being considered, just like all the other guild members."

Loke was ecstatic to hear that he could still be an S-class someday, giving her a tight hug and the promised spirit world air.

"Um, Natsu," Wendy said, approaching the older dragonslayer.

"What's up?"

"I'm not going to join your business."

"Aw, really?"

"Yeah. I don't think I can do it."

"Alright then. If you ever change your mind, just let me know!"

"I don't think I will," Wendy said. "It's just not for me."

"I should think not," Carla sniffed. "I told you, it's not proper behavior. I'm sure there are plenty of other things for you to spend your time doing."

"Yeah!" Natsu encouraged, ignoring the insult. "Like this fun job I was telling Lucy about! It's super dangerous and we'll get to beat up all sorts of monsters and criminals! They're hiding in the sewers under Hargeon. Wanna come with us?"

As Carla started arguing with Natsu about his definition of the word "fun", Wendy laughed. Maybe she wasn't a good fit for the business, but she was definitely a good fit for Fairy Tail.

* * *

 **Sooo...it's been a while. I've got a lot of stuff in the works, I promise. I might even publish another one-shot this week if I can get it done.**

 **Anyway, thank star-eye for beta-reading and pushing me to actually finish this and make progress on my other fics.**

 **I really will do my best to post again soon. I just have so many ideas and works in progress that I have a hard time concentrating on just one sometimes.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


End file.
